Lucy and Todd

On Two Twentieth-Century Greats

In Recent Articles on October 15, 2013 at 9:38 am

MICHAEL JACKSON
1. Extensive facial remodelling.
2. Pinched, unnatural ‘waxy’ look.
3. Slept in sealed glass chamber.
4. Crowds queued for days in order to see.
5. Electrifying dance style.
6. Rounded up and kept thousands of animals in private zoo.
7. Inspired fanatic loyalty.
8. Likeness available on hundreds of products.
9. Insisted on being called ‘King of Pop’.
10. Thriller second biggest album in history.
11. Thriller is 13-minute horror video.
12. US schoolchildren voted him best hero of 1980s.
13. Had sister’s nose (mail order).
14. Signed biggest record contract in history.

V. I. LENIN
1. Extensive facial remodelling.
2. Pinched, unnatural ‘waxy’ look.
3. Sleeps in sealed glass chamber.
4. Crowds queue for days in order to see.
5. Electrifying oratorical style.
6. Rounded up and kept thousands of people in prison.
7. Inspired fanatic loyalty.
8. Likeness available on hundreds of products.
9. Insisted on being called ‘Father of the Soviet State’.
10. USSR largest nation in history.
11. Term of office was 13-year horror.
12. Russian schoolchildren voted him best hero of 1900s.
13. Had father’s eyes.
14. Signed 3rd largest number of death warrants in history.

(extract from HOW NOT TO BE AMERICAN, by TM, published October 2013 by Aurum Press)

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Reviews of How Not to be American:

“…an exceptionally urbane and witty collection of essays… Although the book is often laugh-out-loud funny, the reader is acutely aware that the comedy is a carapace for profound misgivings … McEwen’s work is…a beautiful sword, incisive and dangerous at the same time.’

Stuart Kelly, Scotsman

“The genuine warmth of his reminiscences…balances out his frustration with a country that’s thrown ‘ten thousand years of civilisation out the window’.”

Alistair Mabbott, Herald

“Todd McEwen…should be better known … He can be very funny. His new collection, How Not to be American, is an entertaining inspection of transatlantic phenomena from the baseball cap to Cary Grant’s suit.”

Ian Jack, Guardian

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